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50ish gal who views the world with a bit of cynicism. Our world is full of hilarity at every turn, and I feel the need to express my views on it. Others may think it, I say it.


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dressing the part

Do you ever notice that certain events or activities require a uniform? No matter how ridiculous or hideous it may look, it is required. Or so people think.

I like the bicyclists. Professional athletes aside, most people look ridiclous in bike shorts. Any given Saturday or Sunday morning, your local Starbucks is full of them in all their glory and snootyness. A few months ago, we were taking the ferry from Larkspur to SF and it was full of cyclists. One gentleman in particlar, who was quite portly, chose the outside deck right beside where we were standing to do his stretching exercises. It was a shocking sight on many different levels, the look on the faces of my husband and nine year old were priceless. If you are a woman with a large behind, bike shorts are not a good look, black or not.

We live in the "Wine Country", a joke to us locals, a snoot fest to those visiting. It is beautiful and I am thankful everyday that I am lucky enoguh to live here. Those touring for a long summer weekend are the "Linen Set". Lots and lots of white linen in every form of clothing you can imagine. Large brim hats finish off this look. These people are very important and should be treated as such. During the fall months, the Linen Set reverts to LL Bean or J Crew. Either will do.

Sporting events have their own uniforms. These change depending on where you are or what team you are a fan of. Jerseys, hat of all sorts, t-shirts and team jackets are a must. You can tell the uber fan who is dressed and painted head to toe in team colors. If you show up to a sporting event in only a team t-shirt or just a hat, your fan loyalty is immediately suspect and you may be subjected to ridicule or worse. If you can't bring yourself to wear something team oriented, it's best to stay home.

Workout clothing often doubles as errand clothing. Why not go to the grocery store, dry cleaners, Starbucks, etc right after you have worked out? No one will notice the sweat stains under your boobs, right? Wrong. These outfits are right up there with bike shorts. It's great that you work out or do yoga. If you must run errands, do it before you work out, please.

I guess you have to ask yourself, are you a sheeple or a cool unique individual who dresses to please themselves?

1 comment:

  1. Love the line "These people are very important and should be treated as such". Classic and true. We need to go wine tasting in our neck of the woods sometime--not many pretentious people around here. Bicycle outfits are like European swimsuits--WAY too revealing. Who are they trying to impress? Certainly not me. Is Gary following your blog? He'd love it.