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50ish gal who views the world with a bit of cynicism. Our world is full of hilarity at every turn, and I feel the need to express my views on it. Others may think it, I say it.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

As seen on TV

Middle of the night infomercials, there's nothing like them. Everyone is so excited and animated. Our product is so fabulous, you'll wonder how you EVER lived without it. Remeber when GINSU knives was the only one? I actually own a GINSU bread knife, have had it for ten plus years, and it really is a great knife. But on to the Pajama Jeans......

WOW!!!! Jeans that feel like pajamas and pajamas that are stylish like designer denim. Last I checked designer jeans were not made out of sweats material. You can look "put together" all day long. They even have brass rivets and contrast stitching. No buttons or zippers to fool with. Just pull them on. Wear them to the gym, grocery store and while you run errands. Roll out of bed and be on your way. Just because you are busy doesn't mean you can't look sharp! I think the reality is unless you are tall and thin, these will cling to every bump and bulge and enhance them for you. That's what I'm looking for in a jean. There are not alot of testimonials for these and I suspect I know why.

How about the Belly Sauna? Do you have love handles or pesky belly fat to get rid of? Here's your answer.
Wear it anytime. Walking the kids and pets (?), gym, mowing the lawn, etc. Does this look anywhere near comfortable to you? What's that red plastic thing around your gut Dave? It's my new belly sauna, Tom. I guess I could have used Saran Wrap, but I felt like wasting twenty bucks, and besides, I like red. Tag line says you MAY lose weight. You MAY lose weight doing all kinds of things, but not this. Great testimonials from other people who also like red.

Hoopnotica, losing weight and toning have never been easier! The Hula Hoop you remember from childhood doesn't hold a candle to this enjoyment. This is adult sized and weighted. If you thought Hula Hoop's were awkward, hold on. And, it's travel ready. Now you can flail around like a spaz anywhere. Can be adjusted for the more advanced hooper. I wonder what makes one more advanced at this activity. I hope it involves lots of alcoholic beverages.
The FUN way to blast fat!

Do you secretly, or maybe openly, want to be a porn star? If you answered yes, hers is a must have for you to get started.

With this handy little device, you can soon be on your way to sorta pornstardom. You can shave your pubic hair in ten of Jenna's favorite designs. Only you will know unless you decide to share. I think about alot of stuff during the day, but never my pubic hair. Maybe if I had it in the shape of a lighting bolt I would, but only because it's itchy as hell. How many times do you have to try to get it right? If you screw it up, now it has to grow back to try again. WTF? Maybe it comes with templates to practice on? This is usually a gift from your man, as no self respecting woman would purchase this.

Thinning hair? No worries the "My Secret Hair Enhancer" is made just for you. Spray it on your balding melon and you will be good to go. This stuff makes your head look like a dark brown chia pet. East to use, but only if you are a practiced graffiti artist. Otherwise, it ends up all over the bathroom mirror.

I love before and after pictures. This stuff has been around for years, under diferent names, but still hair in a can. You can use it ANYWHERE you have thinning hair and that's all I'm going to say about it.

Remember Richard Simmons on General Hospital in the 80's. Alot of us had little ones then and stayed home, so we saw alot of him. I can't say anything bad about Richard. He's faced some obstacles in his life and he is dedicated to helping people lose weight, and for no other reason that their health. He doesn't make claims of instant weight loss. He's all about let's make it fun and uses great music to help motivate.

I often wonder if he's cold since you never see him dressed in anything but striped shorts. All the exercise must keep him warm. Keep it up Richard. You do make a difference.

I highly recommend the AS SEEN ON TV website for a time wasting afternoon. They have lots of crazy crap for sale. Who's comes up with the names for the products? What are your favorites? Snuggie, Batter Pro, Shape n Tone or perhaps the RX Locker to keep your pill poppin neighbors out of your scrips. I sure do miss Billy Mays. He could scream/convince you into anything, at double the offer.

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